I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
