i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
