Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
