I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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