I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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