it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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