I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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