I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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