I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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