I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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