Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
