It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
