i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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