Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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