as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
