you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
