apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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