Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize