She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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