When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
