No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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