i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
