Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
