she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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