It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
