I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am naked and annoyed.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
