i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
