True but thats because hes a fetus.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
