perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
