Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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