I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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