You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
