All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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