I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
