Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
