thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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