We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
