can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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