I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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