I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
