did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
