He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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