My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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