I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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