Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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