Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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