just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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