I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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