Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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