Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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