The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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