why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
