Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
