They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
