My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
