One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
