Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
