How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
