god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
