Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
