I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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