Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
